On the gift of parenthood

(Essay/ensayo)

Parenthood raises the level of awe married couples have by virtue of their relationship. Marriage is a wonder in and of itself. The fact that two sinful people decide not to live for themselves anymore but for each other is really admirable, and whether they realize it or not, the type of relationship couples have points to a reality beyond love expressed in human terms. A commitment made “till death do us part” and held until that happens cannot be explained unless God’s grace and love are taken as part of such commitment. The Church has shown great wisdom in holding matrimony as a sacrament. For a couple to ponder about the good, the bad and the ugly as they grow old together will never cease to make them laugh, make them cry and above all amaze them, even if children are not part of it.

However, if the stork decides to pay the couple a visit, the ride they started on their wedding day will simply become more exciting. Married life is wonderful, married life with children is even more, because children bring so much into a marriage. Was there joy before them? There is more with them. Now mom and dad not only have each other to learn from, share, laugh and cry with; they have one or more little ones with whom to do that also. Growing old is a matter of course in life; parenthood makes it well worth it. A child falls nothing short of a miracle continually unfolding before our eyes and if no attention is paid we will simply miss it only to regret it later. And parenthood is one calling where regrets become harder to let go as time goes by.

Many young couples who are having marital problems wrongly assume that becoming parents will solve such problems. Bringing children into a troubled home may serve to buy some short-term peace for a couple; in the long run, children themselves unfortunately end up becoming the victims of problems many parents where not able to solve responsibly when they knew they had the chance. Marriage is wonderful, not easy, and the same applies to parenthood. Children increase responsibilities and considerably shorten the time mommy and daddy had for themselves prior to their arrival; they also get sick and are quite expensive. However, children are a gift of God, not a gift we give to ourselves. We simply don’t have such creativity. With them God gives us one of the greatest blessings anybody can experience, sleepless nights and tears included.

I am not puzzled by the lack of a day in our calendar celebrating marriage. In fact, there should not be any as marriage is to be celebrated it every day. It is nothing but the long run extension of the wedding day. Unfortunately, grown ups can mess up their lives and get divorced, although I don’t endorse nor recommend they do so. Yet, parenthood intensifies a healthy marriage relationship, it makes what is strong, stronger. When we pay tribute to our parents on Mother’s or Father’s Day, we celebrate, or at least we should, not only the issue of motherhood or fatherhood, but also that upon which fatherhood and motherhood are built – marriage. The actual relationship might or might not be there, but those days still celebrate it. In such homage a husband does not only say that the mother of his children is a loving and caring mother, he also says that she is a loving and caring wife to him, and so says the wife too.

Parenthood is God’s gift to Mankind; after all, it is He who has been a Father for eternity. God the Father can take the credit for being the mastermind behind the wonder of parenthood. He, who has given us such great blessings in our children, deserves undivided worship for giving us the greatest blessing in His Son Christ Jesus. The words of Paul the apostle to the Romans give us such a witness, “He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?” Every good bestowed on a marriage is to be enjoyed. Of all, children should be enjoyed the most. That in itself is an act of thanksgiving.
cspellot2004